WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE WHEN JEALOUSY GETS UNDER YOUR SKIN AND CONTROLS YOUR LIFE?
Jealousy could occur due to various reasons such as:
- When your spouse cheats on you.
- When your parents gave extra love and attention to your sibling while you were a child.
- If your best friend got closer to another common friend.
- Or simply because others are having more fun than you in life.
What’s the common factor in all the above reasons?
FEAR. Jealousy arises due to insecurity, fear or a feeling of abandonment.
Jealousy is an emotion that’s triggered from a past wound.
It happens because we keep reminding ourselves of that hurt in the past or get reminded of the hurt with some of the current happenings in our life.
Sometimes jealousy arises just for a short burst of time when:
- We see our favorite car go past us on the road or
- We see our that new gadget that’s been on our wish list for quite some time, on a huge hoarding on the road or
- We attend social gatherings and hear about our friends going on fancy vacations which we can’t afford at the moment etc…
This is totally normal and not dangerous in any way.
When jealousy could get really dangerous to the extent that it controls your actions and dominates all of your thoughts is when you’ve got affected deeply from the inside.
In situations like your parents getting a divorce or you finding out that your spouse is actually cheating on you, this could really take away your peace of mind.
- It will drive you crazy.
- It will make you feel so low about yourself and even lead to depression
- You’ll feel like certain images or thoughts keep resurfacing in your head paralyzing you from doing anything else that is important.
- You’ll feel intense anger and hatred towards the intruder into your life.
- You feel abandoned and lonely.
- Everything will feel so pointless and you’ll start questioning your own existence.
These are some of the things that hardcore jealousy could do to you.
It is the most disempowered feeling and it surely does not feel good being there.
Jealousy occurs because you have a very self-centered approach towards life and others around you.
If your spouse has cheated on you, you feel like you were judged and found lacking and that’s why he/she moved on with someone else.
You feel totally abandoned and rejected.
But this is not true. Your spouse cheated on you for his own reasons and because he is dealing with his own insecurity or jealousy.
HOW TO OVERCOME JEALOUSY?
- DON’T ACT OUT OF JEALOUSY:
As soon as you spot it, and feel like acting while you’re jealous, pause and watch it. Don’t let jealousy rule your actions . Delay taking that action if required.
- ACKNOWLEDGE THE FEELING OF JEALOUSY:
every time you feel jealous, simply observe it, watch it happen and give yourself a hug. It’s hard to acknowledge these feelings because it makes us feel we are not always great. But, this is an important step.
- IMAGINE YOUR BETTER SELF:
what is the person that you want to be? Do you want to be jealous or would you rather be secure in yourself, confident and happy for yourself and others? Act with that self, and stay consistent with that.
- RELIEVE THE SUFFERING:
when you act our is jealousy, it hurts others as well as you. What you speak or do in this state of mind causes suffering for everyone. This suffering is entirely caused due to acting out of fear. Instead, act our of compassion towards others as well as yourself by letting go of that fear.
- LET GO OFF THE ATTACHMENT:
you are hurting your current self due to a past wound. Let go of that past hurt. It’s easier said than done. Letting go comes easier through practice.
- DON’T BE SELF CENTRED:
we think that the entire world revolves around us. We think we are the most important for our family or friends etc and nothing should happen without us being in it. Unfortunately, the hard truth is that no one is indispensable and secondly, everyone needs their space including us.People even do stupid things like committing suicide and taking away their lives, because of this one reason of being self centred and unfortunately, life still continues without them and people still move on with their lives…. so, take yourself out of the centre and observe things from a neural stand point.
Jealousy is not something that you can get rid off immediately. It needs to be treated with compassion and love to heal.
It needs time and trust needs to be rebuilt.
Be happy for others in case they’re living a better life than you.
Recognise emotions like Anger, Hatred, Jealousy every time it surfaces in your life and find a powerful way to replace those feelings with Love, Happiness and Compassion by listening to an audio or reading something or watching a video etc .
Jealousy could be an anchor in your life that can hold you back from progressing in your life.