Have you ever been in a situation where you just kept working hard daily without any purpose? Did you feel that people and situations were just overpowering you?
That’s because you did not have the courage to say NO.
NO is an extremely powerful tool that some of the world’s biggest achievers use to make progress in their personal and professional lives.
In this podcast, I go deep into the 3 areas of life where you need to say NO:
- People
- Projects
- P**** (bonus tip)
By the time you are done with this 26-minute podcast, I will assure you that you will not be the same person again. I will be sharing some really practical and powerful concepts which can help you live a more purposeful and fulfilled life.
And everything starts by saying NO.
I hope you found this information useful.
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Pleasure and pain.
Pleasing others is definitely a pain in my arse. And it’s vice versa. NO also means New Opportunity.
Thanks Dhruv!
Thank you. This personalised service is useful to the lazy ones like me, Sir.
Hey Sidz,
Thank you for those insightful tips and wisdom!
Thanks Karthik! Appreciate your feedback…
Absolutely resonates with my thoughts. Agree 💯 “NO”is a powerful tool. I have slowly adapted to this power over the years. Very well deciphered Sidz. Power of “NO” is also a way that prevents being exploited.
Yes, absolutely! No gives you control
The power of “NO’. Many of us suffer due to not able to say NO and the worst part is that we don’t even realize how it is affecting our productivity and focus.
Sidz, thanks for sharing.
You’re welcome Sanjay! Glad you found this useful
#ILH Family: Hi Sidz, I hope you are doing well and safe with your loved ones.
I realise the mistake of mine which I am doing since childhood. Saying yes all the time is not good. I am trying to say no.
Thanks for this podcast. 🙏
Thanks Farhan!
Ultimately, it boils down to focus being the most important asset. This podcast tells us how time well spent on meaningful things can bring enormous results. I am going to utilize this one to live freedom life! #ilhfamily
Yes Radhika! You’re right…
I have heard this podcast earlier, however, did not leave a comment. I was too dumbstruck to even write anything as it sounded so much like me – be it the meetings, be it BNI days, congregation, people and so on and so forth.
I have finally learnt the art of saying ‘no’ without being blunt or rude, maintaing the respect in relationships and friendships, especially after joining the #ilhfamily.
This was really a big deal to say ‘NO’ to someone for me earlier. I learned this after a long period of time, after exhausting myself to situations a number of times. We normally say yes to every single item whether person or project just not to hurt the other person. But In doing so we definitely hurts ourselves.
As a woman I have found myself in situations not being able to say no and created tough situations for myself but the other people, even your family, didn’t realize your sacrifices.
Now I have prepared myself to say strictly no to many things. Still I am working on this powerful tool “no”. I know very well now that still here is room for improvement in this area in my life.
I would like to say that by making this small word “NO” as a must tool of your life:
1. You will be more focused
2. As a result your productivity will increase.
3. You will have time for yourself.
4. You will enjoy your life 100%.
5. You will be more lively.
And still exploring more areas.
#ilhfamily #ilhdeeplearner
Thanks, Sidz, good experience an eye opener for many. Lot to learn.
Thank you Sidz! for your magic tips.In business if we follow this ,many of losses may be avoided ,particularly in money transactions. Had I said this when my friends asked for money I would not have lost their friendship and my money as well in so many occassions. Your podcast is a good ,timely eye opener to shape up our activities.
GOOSEBUMPS! POWERFUL! LIFE CHANGING!
This is perhaps the most practically usable emotional intelligence method that we all need to follow on a daily basis – the Power of Saying “No”!
It’s 100% relatable to me since in my 40 years of life I have faced so many situations where I had to say “yes” to people especially in my family and workplace instead of gathering the courage to say “no” at the cost of my peace of mind that it took major tolls on my overall energy, productivity and focus to achiever greater things in life, to fulfill my purpose; BIG MISTAKE!
As Sidz adequately explains in this Podcast, I have learned that whether it is your JOB or your BUSINESS or your FAMILY or FRIENDS or RELATIVES:
– when your intentions, life’s goals, purpose, mission & vision are misunderstood
– when your positive efforts for the greater good are grossly ignored
– when people keep taking advantage of you without showing any sign of adjustments / scarifies from their end
– when they somehow try to box you inside their little-orthodox-so called “normal” ideologies of life, the ideologies that are recipes of 95% of the people living a life without any purpose, selfishly satisfying only their bank accounts, their cars, their houses, their families and eventually fading away in their own “normal” society
then IT IS HIGH TIME THAT you need to prioritize who actually deserves your time and who don’t.
I WOULD LIKE TO ADD A VERY IMPORTANT POINT HERE that I had faced and learned to bypass:
– saying NO at times especially to few very important people in your life or your job can be tricky,
– therefore I suggest that you make sure you master COMMUNICATION SKILLS.
– You have to ensure that you are communicating your NO properly & politely !
– I suggest that you practice a key communication skills technique called the “Yes frame of mindset” which basically let’s you form your negative responses in a positive way! For example: Do you have 4 hands and 3 legs? Answer: Wow, that could have been something, but I am afraid I am just another human with 2 hands and 2 legs :-)) You are negating without being negative!
People, Projects and Phone – when you know what your vision, mission, purpose and goal is YOU MUST LEARN THE ART OF SAYING NO, there is no other way to have a more productive life starting from NOW!
Thank you Siddharth my #digitalbuddha for relentlessly sharing truly life transforming content – day in and day out! Really grateful and really humbled to be a part of #ilhfamily, #ilhdeeplearner 🤗🙏
To have a purposeful, potent, powerful and meaningful life saying No is of paramount importance. It requires a a lot of courage to say No.
Saying No will give us a lot of Freedom.
Even I used to please people a lot, but since I started to say No I have benefited immensely.
And in this podcast it is so very well explained as to why we should say No.
Yes, No is one of the powerful word,
* People
1.Family
2.Meeting
3.Obligation
4.Society
*Project
1.Job Environment
2.Consultant Environment
3.Business
4.Hire & Fire
* Bonus
1.Phone- Calls, Msg & App.
2.If we say no that is the super success.
This is really impact on every body life.
No
No
No
Thanks Sidzz.
The power of NO
#ILHFamily #ILHDeepLearner
Why do we end up saying YES to well, almost everything?
Here are the possible 10 reasons(and I am sure there are many more):
1. Want to look good in the eyes of everyone else
2. Don’t want to displease anyone
3. Want to be perceived as an expert in the eyes of the other person
4. Want to be a problem solver for everyone
5. Genuinely interested in the condition of others
6. Do not know how to prioritize stuff
7. If I don’t say YES, no one will come to me the next time
8. Wrong commitment based out of emotion
9. Your calendar is not filled up with important activities therefore you have all the time to keep saying YES
10. You feel that you will be benifitted by saying YES to the other person
Challenges you’ll face if you keep saying YES to everything:
1. No time for yourself:
a. Because you don’t have time for yourself, you won’t be working on things that makes you happy or one that motivates you
b. This resutls working on things that is not your real purpose
c. If you do not work on things that motivates you, you are automatically choosing demotivation
2. No time for creativity
a. Everything that was created in this world, was created twice, once in your mind and then in reality
b. If you do not give the opportunity to create anything even once (in your mind), you cannot create a new reality for yourself
3. Results
a. Mediocre thinking can only create mediocre results
b. When you are naturally working on things that do not motivate you, you’ll see results likewise – demotivating
c. When you know for sure that the result of your work is not going to be great, you cannot enjoy the journey – however beautiful it is
d. If you cannot create great results for yourself, you cannot create any thing great for others
e. The ultimate result is that you are stuck in a vicious circle of:
working on things that is not enjoyable – results in demotivation – work harder on same things thinking it will create better results – results in bigger demotivation
– this cycle continues
First area to exercise the power of NO: PEOPLE
1. Family members (some of them) just wants to get maximum benefit out of you
2. Meetings – Travel, Fuel, Energy, Time gets spent and if the meeting resutls are not great, you will further lose motivation
3. Think about Is this meeting really needed? Can it be done without this meeting and extract equal or more value from everyone?
4. Internal meetings are places where people want to take away your time
5. External Meetings – Business development is another place where people constantly eat away your time
6. Personal Obligation – Returning favor to someone who had helped you in the past is important but not at the expense of your priority activities
7. Women and moms do have a lots of constraint wrt the amount of time freedom they have after maintaining so many relationships
wrt family, extended families – they really need to stip away activities that sucks away time
8. Society – Part of a congregation – can take higher priority over family. Do with care and empathy towards your family
9. Build society around your life and lifestyle, not the other way round
Second area to exercise the power of NO: PROJECTS
1. Junior-senior relationship. People take your time for granted. Set expectations
2. Pick who you want to work with so that there is an Code of Honour and agreement to not step into each others space
3. Business environment – No to bigger projects, verticles
4. Job, Consulting, Business – Three areas
5. Say NO to all spokes of business activities like marketing, sales, scaling, people…etc that is not useful
Third area to exercise the power of NO: PHONE
1. Limit your accessibility – be accessible to yourself first
2. Stop putting your phone number everywhere – avoid being spammed
3. Seperate out business and personal phones – Have clear demarcation between personal and professional life
4. Calls, messages, apps – These are biggest time killers. Use with total care. Use if only really necessary
5. Create rather than consuming things – spend time creating as told by Earl Nightingale
Other Takeaways:
1. You can’t say NO if you don’t know what you want and don’t want
2. If you have a Purposeful, meaningful life you will easily say NO to unimportant stuffs
3. Don’t be Robitic, lead an automated lifestyle
4. WHo you want to serve, impact, legacy, disfunction in your industry is an important thing to know to keep yourself inspired so that you can put your foot down and say NO
5. Connected spirutually
6. What drives you? ask yourself
7. Clarity in vision = power to say NO
8. Control, conviction, purpose, power needed inlife
9. Stanford case study – Marshmellow test – delayed gratification by saying NO
10. Those who couldn’t not say NO (delaying gratification), couldn’t do well in their life after 25 years
11. It takes courage to say NO
12. Be Clear about where you want to go in your life
#ILHFamily #ILHDeep Learner
The 24 hours in a day , we can not increase the time of a day , if we have have some extra work to complete , in short we cannot have control of the time. The only thing we have control is managing our work .
In managing our work or time the art of saying “NO” plays a big role .
The problem people face saying yes in place of NO is the fear of cause that can happen by saying NO
The fear among People Like
loss of relationship
loss of friends ship
loss of fame
loss of own happiness
But by saying Yes we are leading ourselves in to trouble. frustration and finally end to disease like .high blood pleasure, heart failure , Diabetic , Obesity etc
Among relation (People ) like any member of family or among friend , we need to practice saying NO depend on the nature of the thing to do ,
how it affect your performance or your goal ,
In Internal meeting or External meetings we can save our time by selecting, what need to do , whether attending any benefit personally, just for the sake of other need not present So we have to have the objective prior to attending the meetings ,practice saying NO which are time killing and wasting time , be selective and focused.
In the Society ( public culture function, related to religious places etc ) , practicing to select or saying NO to one which is not benefit need to practice,
In the modern time Phone utility ,people have addiction to many apps and social net works , be very selective which apps are needed for your goals ,which need to avoid can help you lead you way to success.
We can practice the Blue print of success people, following their daily habit to a great extend and we will learning to which all action we need to say ‘ NO’ .
The Power of saying “NO” is a great important factor to the success
and achieving one’s Goal .
Learning the art of ‘ where to Say NO’ and have great success in Life is the Key learning and take away from this Podcast .
.
KAMALESH S.V
#ILHFamily #ILHDeepLearner
#ILHFamily #ILHDeep Learner
Key Takeaways:
1. Saying NO to people
The root causes of not being able to say NO to people are;
A) What others think about me when I express my;
o Disagreement (example- in family)
o Withdrawal from engagements (example- in internal meetings)
o Decision on proposals (example- in external meetings)
o Vision which contradicts people’s expectations (example-Personal obligations)
o Priorities (example- society/congregations)
2. Saying NO to projects
The root causes of not being able to say NO to projects are;
A) What if others think I am not;
o Submitting to authorities (example- Senior-Junior relationships in a Job)
o Taking clients seriously or approachable (example- Consulting/ agency)
o Having courage to take big projects (example- Over all Business)
3. Saying NO to phone
The root causes of not being able to say NO to projects are;
A) What if others think I am not;
o Accessible (example – Calls)
o Engaging (example- Messages)
o Active in social media platforms (example- Apps)
Solution: “When you have clarity on your vision, you will be automatically know which all are the things that are not in line with our vision.”
Benefit: Saying NO gives you space, conviction, power, control, purpose, and it’s the ultimate road to Freedom.
#ILHfamily #ILHdeeplearner
It’s a wonderful podcast, Sid! At jobs, projects… I have experienced the same and could never say NO because we felt obliged to say YES to everything. We grew up saying YES to everything people asked of us!
Saying NO to many areas in life gives confidence to do own things.
Totally agree that on being a woman means accepting many responsibilities, which takes woman a harder to say NO in family matters, especially if it is nuclear family and one with small kids.
I’m happy to have heard you and share my deep thoughts with you here.
Thank you
Consequences of saying Yes to all …🦜
A person gets stuck as an individual keeps on trying to please everyone…
People Don’t value him
Getting carried away with no proper path by moving in all directions trying to convince and please people
Saying No to whom🦜
1) People : close family members asking for favour, money
2)Mmeetings
External clients meetings
saying Yes to all prospects without proper delegence will lead to
simply waste of time, money and efforts
3)Internal meetings for Business Development
4) Personal Obligations : sometimes you may also have personal Obligations with people.
5) Society : connected to a religious society may be a church, a temple or a mosque.. or any Get togethering, Cultural society…
6)Projects : Business and careers with job
Job environment… First area
Consultations environment second
Consulting… Agency… Any kind of business
Which effect alot your health your routine.. you may not have time for yourself
And you are controlled by your boss or manager….
…..
Hiring people & firing people
systems
Projects
Vendors
The spokes of business wheels like
Sales, Marketing, financial, HR, R &D etc..
Our Phone
1)calls
2) message
3) your apps
Saying Yes to whom 🦜
Set your priority to your family first
Which means spouse and kids
As they arethe most important part of the world and rest everythingselse is secondary
As a result a kind of space is created and then actual Growth happens automatically
Yes to all projects that come around
As it moved freedom from Life
End Results of saying No 🍎
I value my time I value my space
Keeping as much as wanted…
Like facebook.. telegram on and off
Leveraging more time on creating things than consuming things
One get Clarity in his vision which will
automatically know what other things that are not aligned with your vision
or paths that are actually aligned to his vision…
Saying No gives him more
Space
Power
Control
Conviction
Purpose
And ultimately Helps you, moving forward towards your Goal.
Really Very Useful Information 👍👍
Thank You Sidharth…
Thanks All for Reading .
#ilhfamily
#ilhdeeplearner
Awesome insights Renuka!!
The power of saying no
In society and the people are any others everyone tells that follow your heart follow your passion and when we are following our real heart and passion and saying no to those people for there Unnecessary request and they will tell this words you are not into that what you’re doing. This leads to your nothing and hears that from those people you have changed you are not the person before you. That to you ignoring us you are doing bull shit It will not help you to grow why are you doing all these I don’t understand why people always say follow your heart and again saying that you can not do that why? that is the reason that you need to improve that power of saying NO because people always criticize you whatever you do so there are a lot of situations to say NO before saying NO you have to self audit the real values you are giving and much more things are involved in that like your situation your thoughts and with a peace of mind we have to think to say NO. When you reach the real power of saying NO then no one is going to stop you from your success your peaceful life your real freedom
#ILHFAMILY #ILHDEEPLEANER
Amazing stuff!! Thanks for sharing Mohan
Really .. very helpful and thanks for sharing